If You Change The Way You Look At Things...

"If you change the way you look at things,

the things you look at change."

             - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer 

Why do we continue to hold onto the idea that knowingly and intentionally offending groups of people will result in unification and peace??? It makse zero sense to me.  In fact, it does quite the opposite- it creates MORE division, more anger, more resentment, more hatred - everything that we say we don't want.  If we aren't willing to be open to new ways of looking at the world and how to improve it, things will never change.

A few days ago, I posted something on Facebook about the fact that U.S. National Women's Soccer Team member Megan Rapinoe had kneeled for the second time during the national anthem prior to their game on Sunday.  I wrote that it was disappointing to me that she had made this choice which I felt was disrespectful and offensive to many.  

Acutely aware that this is a controversial and highly charged subject, I was prepared for the fact that there would be comments from people who do not agree - which in all honesty I actually welcome because I am very conscious of the fact that being open to other ways of looking at things can often lead to personal expansion and growth.  I always ask myself if perhaps there is something that hadn't occured to me or if listening to another perspective would allow me to see the issue differently.  I am receptive to exploring other opinions and changing mine if I become enlightened and realize that perhaps I've been narrow minded or unfair.

But after reading the comments, I was left feeling frustrated that my thoughts on the subject were misunderstood and that because I didn't agree with Megan's methodology that somehow this translated to my failing to recognize the severity and significance of the issue or that I must not have understood how brave she was to stand up for somehing she believed in so strongly.  This could not be farther from the truth.  I deleted the post and the thread because it was obviously not conveying what I had intended it to convey.  My apologies to any of you that were offended.

So to clarify, while I believe without hesitation that Megan's heart is definitely in the right place on this issue, the fact that she cares so much is commendable and what she did was indeed a brave thing to do, I also think her actions were misguided and will only result in more of the same.  

It occurs to me that we find ourselves living in a society where looking at things differently from mainstream thinking is so foreign that many people can't wrap their brains around it.  Thinking outside the box means just that - it's the idea that doing something different than what has always been done before might be a better option if we want to achieve different results.  "Group thinking" or "herd mentality" is so powerful that it can easily cloud one's thinking and essentially block out one's innate abilty to problem solve from a perspective of abstract thought and personal imagination. 

My whole point was this: if you knowingly and intentionally take a stand on an issue by doing something that attract lots of attention by offending another group or groups of people, by definition you are not acting as an instrument of peace.  Instead you are acting as an instrument of polarization which not only does nothing to solve the problem at hand but also leads to even more anger, hatred, resentment and division.  I think the time has come to unite the country, not divide it.  

I look around at the condition of not only our nation, but our entire world and I am terrified for our children and grandchildren and for all of the future generations to come.  I see extreme violence, racism, dishonestly, inolerace and corruption that plagues every single government agency and instituion at every level.  I see mainstream media outlets, federal agencies and medical communities that are controlled by pharmaceutical companies and big corporations whose only concern is creating more patients and lining their own pockets.

I see the buyout of Monsanto by Bayer this week and wonder how much worse our food supply could possibly get and what that means to all Americans in terms of health and wellbeing.  I see issues with our water supply, pesticides, forced vaccinations and constant exposure to toxins everywhere we go that are wreaking havoc on not only our bodies, but on our minds as well.

I see people being treated poorly and without compassion.  I see a constant focus on "selfies" and materialism and the "what's in it for me?" mentality instead of "how may I serve?".  The message that our kids are getting is not going to lead them down the road to happiness and contentment - it's a disaster in the making as far as I'm concerned.  We are focusing on the wrong things and until there is a major shift in consciousness, nothing is ever going to change.  

There is an intolerable amount of suffering everywhere and it's not just about one issue - it's much much bigger than just one issue.  In order to create change, we must bring light into the darkness and offer love in the face of rage, hatred and discontent.  In the presence of compassion, understanding and tolerance only peace remains.

We have to recognize that we need more constructive ways to make our voices heard, to stand up for what we believe in - and we must be respectful and tolerant of the beliefs and feelings of others.  To have an attitude of, "I don't care who I offend" no mater how virtuous and pure your intentions might be is counterproductive and will only result in more separation when what our world desperately needs is the complete opposite.  Offending more people is not the answer!

This is just my opinion obviously and I certtainly don't have all of the answers - but I challenge everyone to think of ways to improve our country and our world by doing things that are unprecedented and extaordinary instead of just doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results - which, I believe, is the very definition of insanity.

Follwoing the Herd Never Ends Well

"If you follow the herd, you'll end up stepping in shit."

           - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, I Can See Clearly Now 

When I was in Kindergarten, I was a table for Halloween.  My Aunt Bibby, as we call her, made my costume for me.  My mom was the oldest of five girls and Bib is her youngest sister.  Growing up, Aunt Bib was more like a big sister to me because of the age difference between her and my mom - when I was born she was only around 11 or 12 years old.

As the first grandchild in a big family of five girls, there was much excitement when I was born.  I was showered with attention from everyone, especially Bibby and naturally she became my favorite.  

Bibby loved kids, especially babies, and she took her role as my aunt very seriously.  My grandparents lived about 30 minutes away so my mom would bring me up to visit them quite frequently.  If Bib knew we were coming, she would race home from school to see us and brag to all of her friends about her new baby niece waiting for her at home.  My mom used to tell me how Bib would burst through the door and completely take over my care, even expertly changing my diapers with intense precision, the safety pin dangling from her lips, folding thet thick, white cloth just so, treating this mundane task as if it was the most important job on the planet.  

Bibby was also very creative and as I got older she insisted on making all of my Halloween costumes.  The table was the first of many memorable get ups including a Rubix cube and a Hershey's bar.  Of course, Bib's creations never failded to steal the show.  

I remember the table costume vividly.  Bib was so excited and had spent weeks designing and creating her masterpiece but she wanted to surprise us - I don't even think my mom knew what I was going to be until Bibby showed up with it the day before Halloween. Well, let me tell you, this table costume was a work of art.  No detail had been left undone, down to the beautiful white table cloth, place settings, plates, wine glasses and the "piece de resistance", a giant turkey just waiting to be carved.  I wish I had a picture of it - words just do not do it justice.  It almost made you want to take a seat and dig in!  

Sure enough, the next day at school, guess who was selected to lead the parade through town?  You got it - the table was the hit of the entire celebration!!  I will never forget the feeling of sheer joy and overwhelming pride as, at 6 years old, I led the entire school through the streets of our small community.  It was a memorable moment that made a lasting impression, a moment that has stayed with me all these years.  

The reason I tell this story is because when I relive that moment I realize how free I was back then.  I wasn't worried about standing out, looking silly or making a fool of myself.  I never doubted that everyone would love my costume as much as I did.  I had no voice inside my head worrying about being made fun of or whether I'd be the only kid wearing a homemade, giant cardboard box costume when everyone else was wearing storebought Disney character costumes.  I completly embraced the fact that I stood out from all the rest of the kids and enjoyed every minute of being in the spotlight.

I was thinking about this the other day and I realized that as I got older, something changed and at some point I decided that standing out was not a good thing and that the thing to do was to fit in.  Blend.  Be myself but only if being myself meant being cool and doing what everyone else was doing, saying, and wearing. Obvioudly I know I'm not alone in this - as we get older and more aware we all become much more self-conscious and concerned with fitting in.  But as I thought about it more,  it occurred to me that maybe it's more than just a nutural maturation process, maybe kids feel the need to fit in because we tell them they should.  

I wondered...what if society, parents, teachers, the media and everyone else stopped sending the message to children that in order to be okay, they need to fit in?  What if kids got a different message that said something more along the lines of "striving to fit in and be like everyone else is the equivalent of choosing to be ordinary - why be ordinary when you can be extraordinary?"  How did being ordinary ever become a good thing?

Admittedly, kids  definitely hear alll the time things like "just be yourself" and "don't be afraid to be different" but the problem is that these are just empty words that don't convey to a child how to actually go about doing that in a world that encourages selfies, plastic surgery and fashion trends.  The overwhelming message they are getting is quite the opposite of encouraging them to embrace who they are.  We don't even give them a chance to figure that out before we start barragomg them with messages of conformity.

We need to ask ourselves why we are, as a society, so completely obsessed with looking, acting and thinking like everyone else.  There is so much pressure to conform that we are often afraid to share new ideas or express differneces of opinion for fear of being judged.  Societal pressure is tough, and it's not just kids who are affected.  Adulst, too, are so quick to criticize, and in some cases even ostracize, those who voice opinions that are not mainstream or that go against popular belief.  We are taught not to question autihority, to just go along to get along and to not make waves.  But is this really the recipe for a life filled with happiness and fulfillment?

I ask you, is this really the message we should be sending to our future generations?  Is this the way to encourage growth, expansion and innovation?  To just copy and to conform to what everyone else is doing? 

Picture the entire world as a giant jigsaw puzzle and we are all pieces of that puzzle.  Yes, it's true that all of the pieces are more alike than different but it's also true that it's the differences that work together to create the picture when all is said and done.  Without the slight variations in shape and color of the individual pieces, it would look like a giant pile of identical puzzle pieces that was virtually meaningless.

E.E. Cummings wrote, "To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight - and never stop fighting."

 As parents, we never want our children to feel left out or like they don't belong and for this reason I think we tend to encourage conformity versus individuality.  We are all guilty of it and it comes from a place of love - we just want our kids to be happy and we want them to avoid being teased or treated badly in any way.  

I am definteily guilty of this as well.   I have three children, a fourteen year-old boy and twin 11 year-old girls.  Fom the beginning they all had three very distinct personalities. When our kids were little, we belonged to a country club with a specific dress code.  Early on, I would revel in dressing them all up in cute little coordinating outfilts, especially the girls.  But soon it became clear that the days of picking out my kids clothes was over and the dress code at the club became the bane of my existence.  

I look back at the days of crying fits, forcing collared shirts and dresses over my kids heads and shoving uncomfortable dress shoes on their little wriggling feet and see the humor in it now - but at the time it was anything but funny - it was sheer agony!  I remember thinking, why can't my kids just wear the nice clothes like all of the other kids without complaint?  Why can't my kids just be normal?

As it turns out, my daughters are not girly girls - they are complete tomboys just like I was.  Go figure!  The idea of wearing a dress, skirt or even somehing that does not resemble athletic attire is completly offensive to them.  We finally started to wonder if it was worth it to go through the same battle every time and wasting money on clothes our children hated.  We decided that it was indeed NOT worth the battle and that only under exteme circumstances would we insist that the kids dress up in "fancy clothes", which for the girls means that their shirt does not have a giant Nike swoosh spashed across the front.  

Recently, I found out that some of the girls' friends had signed up for 6th grade cotillion (which I had been forced to do as a kid) and although I was pretty sure I knew what the answer would be, I asked them if they wanted to do it.  Since their best friends were doing it I thought maybe their decision would be swayed.  Nope.  There will be no cotillion for our daughters.  The mimute they found out what was required (i.e. dresses and uncomfortable shoes) they did not even hesitate before declining my offer.  

Although I wasn't surprised, there was a part of me that felt that familiar pang of worry that they would feel left out and regret their decision.  Should I force them to do it like my mother did?  I even worried that if they didn't do cotillion they would never learn the etiquette of a proper young lady or how to ballroom dance with a boy.  I envisioned them dancing at their weddings and stepping all over their new husbands' feet - and then I reemembered somehing very important: I took cotillion.  My husband loves to tell the story about how even after dragging him to dance lessons, I still insisted on leading - which lead to a pretty disastrous first dance.  (Luckily, not many people saw it because everyone had beelined it to the bar but that's a story for another time!)

Lately, I have really been trying to catch myself when I start thinking this way.  I focus on encouraging my kids to listen to their own voice and think for themselves.  Yes, there are times when there is no way around it and we need to just go along with the program out of respect or for certain special occasssions like weddings or graduations.  But overall, both my husband and I try not to force our kids to do anything unless absoltuely necessary.  We revel in their individuality and encourage them to express themselves exactly as they are, miraculous little humans who are perfect and lovable just the way they are.  After all, if you follow the herd, you are bound to step in poop.  Avoid the herd!

The Illusion of Obligation: Saying Goodbye to "Should's" and "Have To's"

"The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation
 to dinner without giving an excuse."

                                                                           - Jules Renard, The Journal of Jules Renard

When your world unexpectedly falls apart, it's an opportunity to put your life back together, piece by piece, deliberately and with intention, discarding the things that no longer fit (or never actually did).  But this time the materials with which the foundation of your life is built are hand-selected by you and only you - and therefore indestructible.  There is nothing in your life, including people, who are there because they 'should be' or 'have to be', or because you feel like you have no choice but to include them.  In your newly constructed existence, there is no such thing as an obligatory action or person.  

To me, this is true freedom and in being free, the potential for happiness is exponential and limitless.  Ultimately, the human spirit longs for that freedom...and although we don't always realize it, the powerful influences of society and the people around us, although well-intended most of the time, are in direct opposition to the fulfillment of this longing for freedom virtually from the moment we are born.  

It's difficult at first to accept that we do have a choice, that we do in fact have total control over our own destiny.  We resist by saying, "But I have to do this" and "I am obligated to do that" - but I would argue that this is just an illusion that we are gradually taught to buy into from our first days on earth.  By the time we become adults this illusion of obligation has become our perceived reality and we fully believe it to be true.

When you experience a catastrophic event and the world as you know it crumbles around you, you are often the recipient of some pretty earth-shattering insights.  The most significant for me was that I was putting an insane amount of pressure on myself to do things I didn't really want to do but felt I had no choice but to do them.  I was allowing friends to choose me, instead of the other way around, and I felt unable to say no, to set boundaries and to be honest about my needs.  I craved acceptance and would sacrifice my own well being in order to avoid judgement or criticism from the people around me.

Basically, I had a set of long-established beliefs about myself, about others and about life itself that I was one-hundred percent committed to and never thought to question.  I was shocked to find out that most of the beliefs that had been guiding me for 43 years were basically incorrect, based upon the false premises, assumptions and opinions of others.

Even though living with Lyme, or chronic illness of any kind, can often make you feel like a prisoner in your own body, ironically I have never felt more free.  As I have slowly put my life back together, piece by piece, I realize how much of  it was being lived according to other people's ideas and opinions about what I should do or what I had to do and how many decisions or choices were made based upon guilt and/or perceived false beliefs.  

The problem with that approach is multi-dimensional.  First, if you feel forced to do something, whether it be a family obligation or having lunch with someone you don't enjoy, your lack of authenticity will always shine through...and everyone loses.  When you are being genuine, people feel it and respond with appreciation and warmth.  But when there is no feeling behind your gesture, they feel that too and respond accordingly - and you end up feeling unappreciated, drained and annoyed.  Lose-lose.  

No more.  Now I give myself permission to do only the things I want to do, things that I feel inclined to do on a gut level.  If it doesn't feel right, if my ego is involved in any way, I don't do it.  Period.  And let me tell you, it's a HUGE relief.

When you live your life from a place of love and compassion, doing what you truly want to do and being honest about the things you don't want to do while setting appropriate boundaries with others, your life improves exponentially.  It's a win-win.  I highly recommend it, not only for your emotional well-being but for your physical health as well.  The mind-body connection cannot be ignored - it's so powerful!

Stuck in the Middle

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiently;...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

                                                    - Theodore Roosevelt, from his 1910 Man in the Arena speech


"I want to be in the arena.  I want to be brave with my life.  And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked.  We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can't have both.  Not at the same time." 

"Once we fall in the service of being brave, we can never go back.  We can rise up from our failures, screwups, and falls, but we can never go back to where we stood before we were brave or before we fell.  Courage transforms the emotional structure of our being.  This change often brings a deep sense of loss.  During the process of rising, we sometimes find ourselves homesick for a place that no longer exists.  We want to go back to that moment before we walked into the arena, but there's nowhere to go back to.  What makes this more difficult is that now we have a new level of awareness about what it means to be brave.  We can't fake it anymore.  We now know when we're showing up and when we're hiding out, when we are living our values and when we are not.  Our new awareness can also be invigorating - it can reignite our sense of purpose and remind us of our commitment to wholeheartedness.  Straddling the tension that lies between wanting to go back to the moment before we risked and fell and being pulled forward to even greater courage is an inescapable part of rising strong."

                                                        - Brene Brown, Ph.D, LMSW, "Rising Strong"

When I first found out I had Lyme Disease and began learning about the controversy surrounding it, including the lack of acknowledgement by the medical community and lack of coverage by insurance companies, I was floored - and so incredibly confused.  I remember talking to an acquaintance who had been struggling with Lyme for years and saying to her, "But wait - this can't be true...how can this be?  Why aren't people screaming?  Why are people putting up with this?  Why, why, why????".  I remember she just looked at me and said, "It's just he way it is and there's nothing to be done about it.  Who wants to sign up to be the poster child for Lyme Disease?  Not me."  

In that pivotal moment, completely contrary to a reaction even remotely matching my normally private and non-confrontational self, I decided that in order to help others navigate this hell, I would do everything in my power, including the job as poster child, if necessary.  Come hell or high water, I would create enough noise and commotion that Chronic Lyme & Co. could no longer be ignored.  Have I lived to regret that decision?  Hell yes!  I'd be lying if I said no.  But ultimately I know I can never go back.  Too many people are suffering, too many lives are at stake.

But I'm not going to lie -  it's a struggle.  Some days I just don't feel like putting a smile on my face and being brave.  Some days I long desperately for my old life, the life before Lyme where I could hide behind my armor of ideal mom, cute outfits, tidy house and perfectly organized linen closet.  Showing this much vulnerability is brutally uncomfortable.  Some days I just want to blend in and fit in like I used to in the old days, the days before Lyme took over my life, both physically and emotionally.  

You see, I'm stuck in the middle at this point.  The shininess of my newly gained enlightenment has worn off and I'm still struggling.  Have I made progress?  Yes.  But my transformation into a beautiful butterfly still feels like it's a long way off.  I had no idea of the tenacity and cunning of the beast I was up against when I began this fight.  And perhaps that was for the best because I may have just admitted defeat from the get go. 

I've always been a people pleaser, never one to stand out from the crowd or intentionally ruffle feathers.  The polarizing nature of Lyme, coupled with most people's low tolerance for talk about illness or pain or struggle, makes for a recipe for quite the opposite of pleasing anyone.  I've found that most people will tolerate it for a while but tire of it pretty quickly.  They want to hear about your happy ending, yes, but until that happens they'd rather you just keep it to yourself.  

And I can't say that I blame them - I would probably have the same reaction in their shoes.  But even though I still fall down, get frustrated, impatient and want to give up....I know I never will.  I will keep finding the courage to stay in the arena.  I will keep being brave.  And someday soon I will rise strong.  

Be the One

"You have enemies? Good. 

That means you've stood up for something in your life."

                                       
                                                                         - Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Be the One

Be the one to show compassion.
Be the one to show kindness.
Be the one to speak up for what you believe in.
Be the one to defend what is right.
Be the one to stand up and scream in the face of injustice.
Be the one to right a wrong.
Be the one to offer assistance to others
Be the one to apologize first.
Be the one to smile at a stranger.
Be the one to bring understanding and love into every situation.
Be the one to show up to your life in the most authentic way possible.

If not you, than who?

Just be the ONE, no matter what everyone else is doing.

Because in the end, the only thing you will regret is NOT being the one.

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, 

people will forget what you did, 

but people will never forget how you made them feel." 

                                           - Maya Angelou 

I love words.  The above quote by Maya Angelou may be one of my favorites of all time.  Words have so much power.  They urge us to open our minds to new ideas, new perspectives and allow us to think differently and in turn, our lives improve.  Just changing the way you think about something has potential to change your life in a profound way and trigger new opportunities for expansion, growth and healing.

I have learned that your life is not defined by your achievements, successes, wealth, reputation or even how clean your house is...it's defined by the number of souls you touch and connect with, the amount of lives, both people and animals, that are made better for having crossed your path.  

How many people would say that they are better off for having known you?  What will people say about you after you are gone?  How will they remember you?  Picture yourself at your own funeral or memorial service and ask yourself what do you want people to say about you?  How do you want your loved ones to describe how you lived your life?  What do you want your family, friends, acquaintances and even strangers to say about the kind of person you were?

Think about it, decide what you want your legacy to look and feel like and live from that place now.  Because life gives no guarantees and waiting for one more second to live the way you want to be remembered may be one second too late.

"A Mind of Your Own" by Dr. Kelly Brogan, MD

When in doubt, look UP!

It's hard to believe that at this time last year I was deep in the throes of a medical crisis so severe, so terrifying that I feared I would not come out of it alive.  I have never felt so alone, so hopeless and if continuing to share my personal journey saves just one person from that hell, than it will be well worth it to me.  

Over the course of many months, I was misdiagnosed multiple times by several different doctors and specialists.  Every single doctor I saw gave me yet another prescription.  One diagnosis was particularly disturbing and made by several of the physicians with whom I consulted...I was told that I had a form of delusional schizophrenia called "Delusion of Parasitosis" or DOP.  And each time this diagnosis of DOP was unceremoniously delivered, after less than 10 minutes of speaking with me and little or no physical exam, I was given one thing: a prescription for an extremely powerful anti-psychotic medication called Zyprexa.  

The scary thing is that only one of those doctors was actually a psychiatrist - and he was also the first doctor who told me that he believed I was actually suffering from Chronic Lyme, not DOP. Later, I came to find out how many Lyme patients have the exact same experience of being wrongfully diagnosed,  not just with DOP, but many other forms of mental illness as well and prescribed all sorts of dangerous, mind-altering, psychoactive drugs. Thankfully, even in my weakened and confused state, I just knew that psychiatric meds were the absolute last thing I needed and I refused to take them. I don't even like to think about what would have happened to me if I had followed the advice of those doctors. 

All of these months later, I am on the path to complete healing and all without the use of anything pharmaceutical, chemical, or toxic in any way. On the contrary, one of the key components to restoring my health has been to completely detoxify and restore balance to every system in my body holistically and naturally.  This has led me to rethink everything I have ever been taught to believe about Western medicine.

Today I started reading a book that, in the very first chapter, echoed many of the thoughts and suspicions that have been swirling around in my mind for months...I can already tell that this book is going to change my life in a very profound way. 

The book is called "A Mind of Your Own", written by Dr. Kelly Brogan, M.D. Dr. Brogan studied cognitive neuroscience at MIT before receiving her MD from Weill Cornell Medical College. Board certified in psychiatry, psychosomatic medicine, and integrative holistic medicine, she is one of the only doctors in the nation with these qualifications. 

Needless to say, Dr. Brogan is no quack and has credentials up the wazoo.  But even more impressive to me is her courage to speak the truth and stand up to some very powerful and often intimidating entities, i.e. the AMA, CDC, Big Pharma, and mainstream medical organizations just to name a few.  By writing this book, Dr. Brogan is essentially putting her professional reputation, career and personal well-being at risk, all for the sake of helping others. I haven't even made it to Chapter Two and already this woman is my hero!  

An excerpt from the first chapter...

"...let me be the first to tell you that the only path to a real solution is to leave the medical world you know behind. This, the journey I will take you on, is not just about symptom suppression, it's about health freedom. First let me tell you that I was once a typical doctor, not to mention a typical American who loved pizza, soda, birth control, and ibuprofen. My message is from a personal journey and thousands of hours of research that has compelled me to share the truth about prescription-based care: we've been duped.

Yes, my entire training was based on the model of disease care that offers patients only one tool - a drug - and never a shot at true wellness. We've handed over our health to those who seek to profit from it, and we've been buying into a paradigm based on the following notions:

• We are broken.
• Fear is an appropriate response to symptoms.
• We need chemicals to feel better.
• Doctors know what they are doing.
• The body is a machine requiring calibration (via drugs). A little too much of this, too little of that.

I call this collective set of notions the Western Medical Illusion. It sets up a vicious system the ushers you into lifelong customer status, dependent and disempowered.
As you can likely guessed by now, I love to rant. But I do so with the best evidence science could offer, and there's a lot we know today about the real root cause of depression - and how to treat the condition safely and successfully - without a prescription pad. If there's one lesson I will drive home, it's this: shed the fear, take back your inner compass, and embrace a commitment to your best self medication free. Even if you don't already take a prescription drug, I bet you still doubt living the rest of your life prescription free and reliant on your own inner intuition to know what's best for you. The idea of supporting your body's innate wisdom may sound quaint at best, or like dangerous hippie woo-woo at worst. From now on, I want you to embrace these new ideas:

• Prevention is possible.
• Medication treatment comes at a steep cost.
• Optimal health is not possible through medication.
• Your health is under your control.
• Working with lifestyle medicine- simple everyday habits that don't entail drugs - is a safe and effective way to send the body a signal of safety.

How can I make these statements, and what do I mean by lifestyle medicine? You're going to find out in this book, and I'll be presenting the scientific proof to answer questions you may have and to satisfy the doubtful. When I meet a woman and her family, I speak about how to reverse her anxiety, depression, mania, and even psychosis. We map out the timeline that brought her where she is and identify triggers that often fall under one or more of the following categories: food intolerances or sensitivities, blood sugar imbalances, chemical exposures, thyroid dysfunction, and nutrient deficiency. I forge a partnership with my patient and witnessed dramatic symptom relief within 30 days. I do this by teaching my patients how they can make simple shifts in their daily habits, starting with the diet. They increase nutrient density, eliminate inflammatory foods, balance blood sugar, and bring themselves closer to food in its ancestral state. It's the most powerful way to move the needle, because food is not just fuel. It is information (literally: 'it puts the form into your body'), and its potential for healing is a wonder to me, every single day." 

And...

"Psychiatry remains the wastebasket for the shortcomings of conventional medicine in terms of diagnosing and treating.  If doctors can't explain your symptoms, or if the treatment doesn't fix the problem and further testing doesn't identify a concrete diagnosis, you'll probably be referred to a psychiatrist or, more likely, be handed a prescription for an antidepressant by your family doctor.  If you are very persistent that you still need real help, your doctor might throw an anti-psychotic at you as well." 

O.M.G!!!  That is exactly what happened to me and countless others!!!

Right on, Dr. Brogan! You are a shining example of what it means to take The Hippocratic Oath...what it means to be a physician who truly cares about the well being of her patients...what it means to be a human being who emulates compassion, morality and quality of character.  I applaud your efforts to educate and empower and commend you for your honesty and for your bravery in the face of some pretty serious and threatening adversaries.  And I haven't even made it to Chapter Two!!!

This book is going to open people's minds to the truth about conventional medicine and the influence of Big Pharma and in my opinion, has the potential to change the world.  At the very least, it will dramatically influence the lives of many and empower them to take their health into their own hands in order to feel better and start living life the way it was meant to be lived: drug-free and feeling good, without constant fear of impending doom.

My advice to you is this: 

Go get yourself a copy of Dr. Brogan's book and decide for yourself - it may just save your life!! 

Bring Love.

"I did then what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better."

                                                                                                - Maya Angelou

Bring love.  Bring only love.  Watch miracles unfold. 

In the presence of love, hatred cannot exist, just as darkness cannot exist in the presence of light.  Illuminate a dark room and the light takes over, as if the darkness never even existed.  

On the other hand, hatred in the presence of hatred grows exponentially.  The same is true for anger, judgement, resentment, criticism, jealousy and anything else that is not love.  

Responding to hatred with hatred only creates more hatred.  Responding to being hurt by inflicting pain only creates even more hurt, more pain.  Responding to being judged by criticizing results in much, much more of the same.  We must ask ourselves...is this really what we want?

By bringing love, compassion and understanding into every single situation, no matter how difficult, we can change the world.  

We've all heard the phrase "Love conquers all" a thousand times, to the point that we've become desensitized to what it really means.  In the past, when hearing those words or anything else conveying a similar message, I would think to myself, "Really nice sentiment and I wish it were that simple - but life is much more complicated" - or something along those lines.

But recently it has become glaringly obvious to me that the concept of love being the answer to absolutely everything is not only accurate, it's crucial for all of us to not only acknowledge and recognize this as truth, but to practice it in our own lives as much as we possibly can.

I believe that at the very core of every kind gesture, act of compassion and understanding, generous offering and even friendly smile toward a fellow human being  is love defined.  I also believe that love is synonymous with the miraculous, therefore in order for miracles to occur, love must be present.

For as long as I can remember, long before I had children of my own, I identified myself as a mother.  When I was a little girl, perhaps influenced by The Brady Bunch, I decided I would have six children.  I believe I even shared this with my future husband on our very first date.  Surprisingly enough, he didn't run for the nearest exit!

Soon after the arrival of our twin girls, I realized that perhaps three children was enough - but I knew that being a mother was what I was meant to do.  I loved every minute of it (well, maybe not every minute!)...motherhood simultaneously lived up to, exceeded and transcended every expectation I had ever had about it.  It was more wonderful, more difficult, more challenging, more heart-wrenching and more life-changing than I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams.  To me, similar to experiencing the death of a close loved one, there are no words that could ever do justice to what it feels like to be a mother.

From the moment our son Jake was born on August 14, 2002, I have woken up each morning with one goal: to be the best mother I could possibly be.  That hasn't changed - but there is something that has changed drastically - the way in which I go about achieving that goal.

Life is about growth and with that growth comes expansion in every form: emotional, mental, physical and spiritual.  In my case, expansion brought with it many gifts, the most important of which, for me, is the wisdom and awareness to see with clarity, without any doubt, what is important in this life, not only as a mother, but as a human being.  For that, I am so very grateful.

As a mom, being chronically ill is a particularly devastating and stressful form of torture.  This is one of the reasons I find it so mind-blowing that anyone could ever entertain the idea that we have chosen this path, that we have chosen to watch our children suffer from the collateral damage of our illness.  The negative attention alone would be the only deterrent needed to make that theory impossible.

I was lucky enough to have a truly amazing role model when it comes to being a mother...my own.  My mom gave me many gifts but I think the most significant is this: when she looked at me, what I saw reflected in her eyes was always beauty and love, no matter what the situation.  Not just physically, but beautiful in every way.  I knew that no matter what I did, that would never change.  I felt loved, acknowledged, valued and most importantly, seen, in such an unconditional way that I experienced that feeling in every cell of my body - and I still do.  My mother has been gone physically from this earth for over twelve years and I still feel her unconditional love on such a deep, cellular level that my entire body tingles just thinking about it.  What greater, more valuable gift can we ever hope to give our children?  A gift that never dies, a gift that will stay with our children long after we are gone.  That is love in it's very purest form.

Even on the days that I couldn't get out of bed, I could still give this gift of love to my children.  I may not have been able to do all the things for them that I usually did, the things that I once believed to be the very definition of being a "good" mom, but no matter how sick I was, I could look each one of them in the eye, give them my full attention, see their beautiful essence and reflect that back to them to carry with them throughout their day.  I could still give them the gift of being loved so unconditionally that they knew with every fiber of their being that there was no bad grade, no disappointment or failed expectation, no mistake or failure, big or small, that could ever change that.  The thing that I realized recently is that I can do that better now than I could before my illness.

I remember days that I truly thought I was dying.  In those dark moments, the thought of death almost seemed like it would be a welcome relief from the pain I was in.  If not for my three kids, I may have just given up - but I knew I had to keep fighting for their sake.  In some of my darkest moments, I allowed my mind to wander, wondering if, in the event that the worst should happen, would my children remember how much I loved them?  Would they know it deep in their souls, just as I know how much my mom loved me?

After everything that has happened, I will never have to worry about that again.  I know that they know. I know they know that they they are my very first thought when I wake up in the morning and my very last thought as I drift off to sleep at night.  I know they know that if I'm ever not able to attend one of their soccer games, school events, or anything else that is important to them that it is not by choice.  I know they know that if given the choice, I always, always choose them.  I know they know that I love them more than anything or anyone on the planet and that there is nothing in this life that I would not do for them.  And I know they know that I have no other expectation or wish for them except to be who they are, find their passion, and to be happy.  For me, this knowledge is priceless and fills me with a peace I've never known.

Over the course of the last few years, both prior to and throughout the onset of the acute phase of my illness, I went through some situations in my personal life resulting in very intense emotional trauma, some of the worst pain, heartbreak and feelings of betrayal I have ever experienced.  As a result, I became very angry and resentful and in my mind it was very justified.  And maybe it was. But I now know that responding to anything, no matter how hurtful it may be, with more negativity can only lead to more pain, which it did. The fact that the degree of physical illness and emotional trauma intersected and manifested in the way it did was not a coincidence, it was an inevitability.

 I can't help but wonder...perhaps if I knew then what I know now, things may have turned out differently.  But in the next moment I realize...I wouldn't change a thing.

A Good Day Is Worth Celebrating

"The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise.  

It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us."

                                                      - Ashley Montagu

If my journey with Chronic Lyme Disease has taught me anything, it's to celebrate a day of feeling good because although I hope with all my heart and soul that it's the start of a new trend, I know that there are no guarantees.  Today is one of those days.  Eckley, my sweet pup, and I went on a long hike and I took these pictures to document this day because I want to remember that on March 18, 2016 I felt like a normal person for the first time in over a year.  I will never again take these moments for granted and I'm not going to spend it worrying about tomorrow.  Today, life is beautiful and I'm going to squeeze every ounce of pleasure of it as possible!

"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely 

try to help another without helping himself...Serve and thou shall be served."

                                                              - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"No one can ask another to be healed.  But he can let himself be healed, and thus offer the other what he has received.  Who can bestow upon another what he does not have?  

And who can share what he denies himself?"

                                                                         - A Course in Miracles 

But there is a part of me that feels guilty because I know there are so many people out there who are plagued with pain, debilitating exhaustion and a litany of other symptoms that make each day almost more than they can bear.  They are struggling to see even a glimmer of hope that they will ever experience feeling good, or even normal, again.  Most are isolated and alone as the controversial nature of this disease tends to drive friends and even family members away.  I know many of these amazingly brave and resilient humans personally and it literally breaks my heart because I know that feeling all too well.  

My message to all of my fellow Lyme warriors out there is this: I will never forget about you, I will never stop fighting and educating and screaming at the top of my lungs for you to get the help and acknowledgement that you so desperately need and deserve.  I'm in this to the end, no matter what happens.  And if I do continue on this path of wellness, I am living proof that there is hope for you too!

It's hard to say exactly what has made the difference for me because I've tried so many different treatments and supplements but most recently I did participate in an eight-course ozone protocol in combination with several professional colonic treatments.  I have also added bone broth to my diet on a daily basis and started taking an anti-fungal supplement consisting of herbs from the Amazon.  I can't say if it was one or all of these things together that have made the difference but I am just overwhelmed with gratitude to be feeling this much better, even if it's just for today.  I'll take it!

Carry on, Lyme warriors...we got this!  Your best moments are ahead of you...believe it and it shall be. 

"...the spirit reveals itself to everyone with the same intensity and consistency, but only warriors are consistently attuned to such revelations." 

                                                                  - don Juan Matus 

The Power of What We Cannot See

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, 

people will forget what you did, 

but people will never forget how you made them feel."

                                                    - Maya Angelou (1928-2014)

What motivates you?

This question may be more important than you realize and may actually have a direct impact on the achievement of a desired outcome.  If your motivation is ego-based, you may not get what you truly desire.  On the other hand, if your motivation is purely derived from unconditional love and the desire to assist, teach, or inspire others, chances are that you will have a much higher likelihood of obtaining what you truly want, which may take many forms but always ultimately boils down to happiness.

As humans, we are designed to desire certain things - it's in our DNA.  We all want to feel loved unconditionally, accepted for exactly who we are, heard, appreciated, acknowledged and understood - and we all want to be seen.  It occurs to me that perhaps we sometimes go about getting what we want in a way that seems perfectly obvious and intuitive but in reality leads us in the opposite direction.  We end up feeling frustrated, depressed, hopeless and lonely, asking ourselves what went wrong.  We had such good intentions so why aren't they being received in the way we wanted or expected?

Perhaps the reason is something we can't experience with our five senses...perhaps it's all about the energy behind the motivation, that elusive feeling that fuels an intention which leads us to act in a certain way.  For example, if someone does something nice for you but they are doing it out of obligation or to avoid feeling guilty, doesn't that feel a lot different than if someone does the exact same act out of kindness and love without expectation of anything in return?  We may not even be consciously aware that we are picking up on the nuances of each situation, but ultimately we are much more likely to appreciate the latter.

I think there are people who go through life not realizing that the reason they often feel unappreciated, unheard, unloved, etc. is simply a reflection of that phenomenon.  They do and say all of the right things expecting respect and appreciation in return and when that doesn't happen they become frustrated, angry and fraught with self-pity.  What they don't realize is that other people can feel the energy that fuels the intention and that energy will directly impact their reaction to it.

I think this applies to all aspects of life, including parenthood.  As a parent, if you encourage your child to do something that you think will bring them joy, that child can feel it on a very visceral level .  On the other hand, if your motivation as a parent is more ego-based, for example wanting your child to succeed in order to feed your ego or make you feel better about yourself, your child feels that too - and it's not a positive or empowering feeling.

In my opinion, too many parents view their children as extensions of themselves.  They are much too invested in the successes and failures of their kids and don't allow them enough autonomy to make their own choices and to deal with consequences of those choices, good or bad.  I think this can be very dangerous because it puts way too much pressure on kids to make their parents happy instead of following their own path.  Successes become shared successes and failures are often devastating, leading to depression, low self-esteem and prevents kids from becoming self-sufficient.  Parents are not for leaning - they are to make leaning unnecessary.

Ultimately, if our actions are dependent on a specific outcome, whether it be appreciation, reciprocation, respect, or even just a thank you, our efforts often won't be well received and we will end up disappointed and confused.

I think the key is to try to live life from your heart, with an open mind and no expectations of any kind.  To quote Dr. Wayne Dyer, "Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing."

We cannot underestimate the power of what we cannot see...in my opinion, it's everything.

Welch's Grape Juice, Where Have You Been All My Life?

This is a love letter of sorts, albeit an unconventional one, but a love letter nonetheless.  The object of my affection: Welch's 100% Concord Grape Juice.  Yep, you heard me correctly.  I am in love with grape juice.

To know me well is to know this well: I do not like barf.  Actually, I hate barf.  With a passion.  Not just hate - I fear barf.  I have an intense and debilitating fear of vomit and/or vomiting and anything related to said vomit (i.e. nausea, gagging, coughing or any sounds that sound like someone barfing, hospitals where people might be barfing, roller coasters with possible barfers, barf bags in airplanes, people barfing in airplanes, people barfing anywhere, people with heat stroke in line at The Oprah Winfrey Show in an unusually warm February in Chicago who barf directly in front of me - you get the idea).  I shudder as I write these words.

This is not an exaggeration.  I have had this fear my entire life.  I do not remember a time that I did not live in fear of barf.  I have vivid memories from my childhood of lying in bed, paralyzed with fear and praying with all my heart and soul not to throw up, even offering God all sorts of things in return for not vomiting.  I know this may sound strange to most people but I am truly terrified to throw up and to be anywhere near anyone else who is experiencing the slightest twinge of nausea.  The mere mention of it will send me into a full on panic attack.

If I happen to be unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity of vomit and see it, hear it, or smell it, (gasp!) I will take off running faster than poop through a goose.  If you don't believe me, just ask my best friend Jessie or my sister Christie...they have lots of good stories on this topic, most of which are quite comical in retrospect.  But at the time I was seriously traumatized.

When I became a mom, I knew I could no longer avoid the dreaded vomit.  Unless my kids were superhuman, they were inevitably going to throw up at some point - and I was going to have to deal.  Not only that, but I was going to have deal without my usual crying, hysterical panic attack in order to avoid traumatizing my poor babies and creating more puke-phobics.  Trust me, I spent many a sleepless night trying to figure out how exactly I was going to navigate this particular predicament.

I have always felt that my issue with vomit falls into the category of a true phobia.  My husband, on the other hand, has always scoffed at this notion and accuses me of being overly dramatic about my aversion to barf.  "Nobody likes it", he argues. "Just because you don't like it doesn't mean you have a phobia." Well, guess what?  The struggle is REAL!  It is actually a form of panic disorder and it has a name...emetophobia!

Emetophobia: an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting.  This specific phobia can also include subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public (check!), a fear of seeing vomit (check!), a fear of watching the action of vomiting (check!) or fear of being nauseated (check!).  

Yes!  Check to all of the above. Total vindication.  So now that we've established the fact that I am definitely "emetophobic", let's get to the good news: I think I may have stumbled upon...wait for it....a possible preventative and theraputic measure, or even, dare I say it....CURE for the dreaded, most heinous of all things that exist on this planet: the stomach flu.

Last Tuesday night, my 10-year old daughter Sofia woke me at 4am to tell me that she had thrown up and "didn't make it to the toilet". Needless to say, these were not words I enjoy hearing.  Since having kids, I have learned to be a pretty good actress and managed to hold it together for her sake.  Seriously, a mother's love knows no bounds - only for my child could I endure the agony of cleaning up vomit.  I held my breath and did what I needed to do while simultaneously envisioning my other two children joining in on the fun at any moment.  Occasionally, I would allow the most horrific thought of all to enter my consciousness...I think you know what I mean.  As you can imagine by now, this whole thing is my idea of hell on earth.  In my head, I was screaming "Help me! Please help me! I am not equipped for this!".

By some miracle we survived the night with no more casualties, but poor little Sofia did not stop throwing up/dry heaving for 12 straight hours - she couldn't even keep ice chips down.  I became obsessed with sanitizing my house, cleaning surfaces, washing linens like a mad woman and turning on both of my UV air purifiers at full blast.  Unfortunately I was well aware that these practices had been strictly adhered to in the past with results that were in a word, unsuccessful. To put it mildly.  Mass vomitus always ensued.  I was doomed.

I almost gave up hope until I stumbled upon a miraculous little nugget of information that would change everything and restore peace in my world.  According to many, many moms out there in this amazing thing we call the world wide web, there is a sure-fire way to prevent the stomach flu from wreaking havoc on your life...Welch's 100% Grape Juice.  Here's one of the testimonials I found online:

http://musthavemom.com/2012/01/stomp-out-stomach-flu-with-grape-juice.html

Of course, I immediately ran out and bought several jugs of the stuff and forced it down my family's throats (not hard since it actually tastes pretty good and I don't usually let them drink juice).   Well, it's now one week later and no sign of vomit anywhere!!  (I really hope I didn't just jinx myself...) I simply cannot believe I have lived almost 45 years without the benefit of this information!!!

I LOVE YOU WELCH'S GRAPE JUICE!!!!

Although it might be premature to declare victory, I just had to share this because I know that even parents who aren't afflicted with emetophobia don't enjoy it when the stomach flu decides to pay their household a visit.

No need to thank me...a world with less barf is the only thanks I need. :-)

2015: That's a Wrap

"The essential lesson I've learned in life is to just be yourself.  Treasure the magnificent being that you are and recognize first and foremost you're not here as a human being only.  

You're a spiritual being having a human experience." 

                                                                   - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer (1940-2015)

When I think about where I was a year ago, I can't believe how far I've come and how many important lessons were crammed into a mere twelve months time.  In many ways, it was the worst of years, and yet simultaneously the best, most significant year of my life.  Basically, it was a real doozy.

And although I can't say I was all that sad to wrap it up, 2015 brought with it many gifts that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.  I advance confidently into 2016 feeling transformed, invigorated, excited for the future and most importantly, I feel free - free to be who I am without pause or hesitation and I accept myself completely, as I am, flaws and all.

Here are my Top Twenty Best Lessons of 2015:

20. It's not about what happens to us in life...it's about how we react to it.  Successful, happy people make the most out of every situation and circumstance that comes their way.

19. It's more important to be kind than right.

18. Changing the way you look at things changes everything.

17. When you follow your bliss, you will find your passion.  Your passion is your purpose and everyone has one.  Everyone.  Find yours.

16. Happiness does not necessarily follow success, but success almost always follows happiness.

15. Being of service to others creates happiness and satisfaction in your life beyond measure.

14. What other people think of you is none of your business.

13. The greatest, most profound gifts come from life's most devastating and challenging struggles.

12. Sometimes the entire house of cards has to come crashing down in order to rebuild it stronger and better than it was before.

11. Trust your intuition to guide you in the right direction - do not let other people's thoughts and beliefs control your life, including those in positions of authority.  You know yourself better than anyone else so trust your instincts.  Avoid 'shoulds' and 'have to's' at all costs.  You don't have to do anything.

10. Guilt and fear are useless emotions.  Get rid of them.

9. It is not your place to judge other people - they are on a journey you know nothing about.  When you judge others, you only define yourself.

8. Things are not always as they seem.

7. Kindness and compassion are everything.  Be kind as much as possible.

6. We all come from the same place - we are all One.

5. Be open to everything and attached to nothing.

4. We must first love and accept ourselves before we can love and accept others.

3. Critical, judgmental people are only revealing the criticisms and judgments they give to themselves and are most likely in need of the most compassion.

2. There is always hope.  Always.  Nothing is a done deal or a lost cause.  Never give up.  There is sunshine behind those clouds.

1. Be fearless.  All is well.

There are many, many more but these are the ones that stand out for me.  Hello 2016, I can't wait to see what you have in store for me this year...

Happy New Year to all!!

Truth

I just saw the movie "Concussion" with Will Smith.  First of all, I commend Will for having the courage to take this role - I'm sure there was major pressure not to from many different powers that be. The clear message in the movie was that human lives matter and that we must not be afraid to speak up for what we know to be true.

So once again I will subject myself to the possibility of ridicule, judgement, being called crazy... whatever you want to say about me, bring it on.  You are misguided and your ignorance does not and will not define me. Because I know the truth and I must speak up for those who are too damn sick to speak for themselves.

People are being subjected to insane suffering, families are being destroyed and financially devastated and sick people are not getting the help they so desperately need and deserve. These people are mothers, daughters, sisters, fathers, aunts, cousins, uncles - they are your fellow human beings many in your own communities.  And they are being dehumanized and treated like their lives are worth nothing by the very people who are supposed to be helping them.  I just can't stand by and watch this horror take place before my very eyes without feeling compelled to shout it from the rooftops until someone finally hears me.

How do I know this?  Because I am living it, along with many, many others, some have become my dear friends, Many are much sicker than I am.  We support, encourage and love each other because no one else will. Without them I'm not sure where I'd be.

So even though I'm getting well, I will not desert my friends.  I will continue to speak up for them until the day comes when the truth finally comes out, medical care for Chronic Lyme Disease patients is covered by insurance companies (because currently it is not covered AT ALL) and there is money being put toward research to find a cure for this devastating disease.  Most people would be surprised to learn that many Lyme sufferers are travelling to Germany and other countries for treatment that is not available in the U.S. - I know several people personally - which costs thousands and thousands of dollars all out of pocket.  I often wonder about the people who don't have extra money to spend on treatments - what do they do?  I have heard of many, many people going into debt, losing their homes, losing pretty much everything.  How can this be happening in this country in this day and age?  It literally blows my mind.

And there are people that KNOW this is all going on and are choosing to turn a blind eye because they are scared.  They are afraid of losing their jobs and of being discredited in their professions, they are afraid of how it would affect their families if they were to speak up.  I get that, I really do.  I feel the same way.  But this just perpetuates the problem.  We cannot allow ourselves to be intimidated because Lyme disease sufferers have families too - and they used to have lives until Lyme stole them from them.  Their current lives look nothing like they did before.

For anyone out there who still questions the validity of a massive cover-up regarding Chronic Lyme Disease and it's co-infections (including Morgellons Disease which is most likely Bartonella) by the CDC, AMA, Big Pharma, the FDA and other powers that be with skin in the game, I implore you to go see "Concussion", a powerful film depicting the true story of an amazing courageous doctor who took his oath seriously and spoke the truth that he knew to be true.  He put his patients first and put everything in his life on the line for the sake of morality and basic human decency.  It's the story of intentional deceit, deception and corruption to the detriment of human lives for money, power and most importantly, because people were afraid to speak up.  We cannot be intimidated and allow fear to stop us from speak the truth any longer.

I ask you this question: if massive cover-ups have happened before, not only in the case of the NFL, but also within the Catholic Church and many others in the history of this country and the world, why is it so hard for people to believe that it is happening right now with regard to Lyme Disease???

I encourage you to see this movie,.  Maybe it will open your mind to the possibility that the thousands of people across the world who are desperately ill are not crazy or making it up.  Maybe they are telling the truth.

I believe there will be a similar movie made about the Lyme Disease cover-up in the not so distant future and I intend to live to see it.

This is for you Christine Schulz Ramos,
Oriana K. Schatan, Bennie Le Bourvellec, Shirley Collenette, Staci Koch and all of the other Lyme sufferers out there too sick to speak for themselves.  I love you, I support you and I will never give up on you - never!

Connection vs. Distraction

"If you want to feel connected to your own purpose, know this for certain:

Your purpose will only be found in service to others, and in being 

connected to the something far greater than your mind/body/ego."

                                                  - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

The process of trying to heal my body has been a journey, one that I am still on, but I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to the ultimate goal of restoring not only my physical health, but my psychological, emotional and spiritual health as well.  I truly believe that they are all connected and that we must address all areas in order achieve this goal, and in doing so, the result will far exceed any expectation of what that might look and feel like.  It's a wellness beyond what we could have comprehended or imagined before the health crisis, or any other crisis in one's life for that matter, began.

Recently, I have received some clarity in one concept in particular, one that was especially difficult for me to wrap my brain around when this journey began...it's the concept of self-love.  I thought that in sharing what I have learned over the past several months it might help other people understand it a little better because in my experience it can be a bit confusing and misleading.

You hear people talk about how all of your problems will be solved if you just learn to love yourself.  You read books about it, see lectures on it, listen to podcasts and say affirmations in the mirror (which at first feel very, very silly) but still it seems like such an elusive idea, one that sounds so simple but nobody really tells you HOW to go about achieving this incredible feat.  

You are told that it has nothing to do with your physical self - it's this inner spiritual self that you need to embrace to experience true self-love and acceptance. For me, I didn't know how to even find my essence, much less love it. I was looking for a step by step instruction booklet and I couldn't seem to find one!  I read lots of books on it, like Louise Hay's "Heal Your Life" which helped a lot.  Louise recommend doing daily affirmations, like I mentioned above, and to just keep saying it until you feel it.  I struggled with this - I could say the words but I didn't really believe the words I was saying.  

Here's what I finally figured out: Yes, it's all about self-love....but in order to love yourself you must first know yourself.  And in order to know yourself, you must find your purpose in this life, the reason you were put on this planet - and I believe that everyone has one.  Once this is achieved, and you finally see your true self for the first time, self-love is inevitable.  Your essence is so pure and beautiful, even to you, that it's impossible not to love.

So now you are probably asking, "Okay, that's all fine and good, but how do I do that?  How do I figure out who I am and what my purpose is on this earth?".  I think the answer is in connection - to everyone and everything - and that our biggest roadblock to connection is distraction.  Distraction is the enemy, in my opinion.  I define distraction as anything external or internal that prevents us from listing to our inner voice, that feeling of knowing that can only be heard if you turn off the voices in your head, block out the outside world and turn inward.  

Now I guess some would call this meditating - but the word 'meditation' was always very intimidating to me and maybe it is to you, too.  Meditating does not just have to be sitting on the floor with legs crossed, arms outstretched and candles burning,   To me, mediating is just connecting with other people in a genuine way, being in nature and noticing with wonderment all of the miracles taking place, being truly mindful and in the moment.  I know this sounds like something you've heard a million times before - but I'm telling you, it works.

Connection is also achieved when we are of service to others, and this can vary from offering a stranger a kind word to volunteering in a homeless shelter and everything in between.  It can even be in the form of simply smiling at someone as they walk by.  It's doesn't have to be major and it doesn't have to be complicated.  The more we complicate things, the more difficult things seem and the less likely we are to do them.  

Once I started to block out other people's thoughts and opinions, free myself of guilt, resentment, anger, judgement and all of the 'should's' and 'have to's' that society tells us we must adhere to and focus on kindness and compassion to others, connection just happened naturally.  And once connection starting happening on a regular basis, the answers just started flowing.  I know it sounds way too simplistic but I'm here to tell you that it's that simple!

I think that we, as human beings, make life way too complicated and difficult.  Imagine that life is a river, with currents and roaring rapids.  If a strong current comes along and you fight against it, you will eventually drown.  But if you don't panic and just relax into the rapid and the flow of the water, all will be well...all of the sudden things will start falling into place and and your life will start to work.  The irony is that it's so much harder to fight it - and yet we keep fighting the current, the life force, and making it so much harder on ourselves.  Lean into the life force and it will gently guide you in the direction of your purpose...and you will see yourself for the glorious, spiritual being you really are.  Because after all, as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin so wisely put it: "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."  I love that quote - it makes so much sense to me!

So that's my advice - maybe I'm just regurgitating what countless others have said before me but sometimes hearing something again in a slightly different way can make the light bulb go on.  And maybe not.  

Either way, Happy New Year to all!  I have a feeling good things are to come all around in 2016...it's gonna be a great year.

xxxxx

liz