Monday, November 30, 2015

I Can See Clearly Now: How a Simple Decision Became An Extraordinary and Unexpected Gift

"Never forget that you are one of a kind.  Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all of your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn't be here in the first place.  And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life's challenges and problems seem to be, that ONE person can make a difference in the world.  In fact, it is always because of one person that all changes that matter in the world come about.  So be that one person."
   
                                                  - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, I Can See Clearly Now

Sometimes one seemingly small and innocuous decision turns out to be monumentally life-changing.  For my family and I, the decision to raise a puppy for Guide Dogs for the Blind turned out to be just that.

One of the best things about raising a GDB puppy is that I am able to bring him with me wherever I go - and I do.  Everywhere.  The grocery store, coffee shop, kids' school and sports events, movies, hairdresser, even to the kids' orthodontist appointments.  This is wonderful on two levels.

First, the people we see on a regular basis get to know each puppy from the very beginning and literally watch him grow up.  They feel connected to him and are essentially participating in the process of raising our pup from start to finish.  This creates a connection that is really meaningful and special.  When Cory graduated, everyone from our community wanted to attend and most did - it was amazing!

Secondly, when I am out and about with my pup, most people respond to us in such a positive manner that I sometimes feel like Santa Claus - we spread joy wherever we go!  I love the way my puppy invites positive interactions with strangers and how it brings out a side of people that exudes joy, compassion and kindness.  Don't get me wrong - there is always an occasional "Debbie Downer", but 99% of the time it's nothing but love.  People feel a special connection with animals and when I am with my pup, that connection includes me.  I meet so many interesting, lovely people and as an Ambassador for GDB, I always try to patiently answer their questions even if I've answered the same one a million times before.

As I've mentioned in previous blog posts, invariably the question I get asked most frequently is, "How can you possibly give him up?", usually followed by, "Omg, I could NEVER do that!"  I've answered this question in all different ways - at first I took offense to it, as if the implication was that I was a heartless, cold bitch and that they were somehow superior due to their inability to make this sacrifice.  But over time I've realized that people are truly curious - curious because they honestly don't believe that they are capable of such a difficult act.

Now, especially after having been through the whole process, when people ask me this question, I'm just honest.  I say, "It's definitely not easy, not by a long shot - but that's exactly why I do it.  The fact that it is hard is the reason it's so amazing.  Giving up Cory was one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my entire life.  But it's so worth it. The gifts bestowed upon my entire family as a result of this sacrifice far, far outweigh the challenges.  And trust me, once you met the person whose life you are changing, you could do it too."  There is a reason that most puppy raisers do not just raise one puppy...I know many people who have raised 10, 20, even 30+ puppies!  It's addictive because it's so beautiful.

The lesson I have learned is this: Don't be afraid to do things that seem hard or uncomfortable or impossible.  Instead of avoiding them, walk directly toward the things that are out of your comfort zone and embrace them with open arms. And encourage your children to do the same!  I firmly believe that the more we are challenged, the more potential there is for positive, trans-formative change.  Challenges, struggles, painful events and situations, relationship issues, health crises - they are all just beautiful gifts in disguise.  So take a leap of faith and just do it, one step at a time, especially if it benefits others, even in ways that may seem small or insignificant.  Giving to others is never small or insignificant and it always pays off in ways beyond your wildest expectations.


On Saturday, October 31, 2015, on one of the most extraordinarily proud days of my life, Cory graduated from Guide Dogs for the Blind and became an official guide to his new partner, Heidi Jungel.  Heidi and I spoke on the phone the week before the ceremony and I knew instantly that she was going to be the perfect partner for Cory and that he was meant to be with her.  I was thrilled and beyond excited to meet her in person.

On the day of the graduation, I was filled with conflicting emotions - excitement, sadness, anxiety, nervousness and happiness all at the same time.  The GDB staff does a phenomenal job of orchestrating this very special day for everyone involved, even allowing each of the raisers to take part in the ceremony by presenting the dog his or her new partner and speaking to the audience about their puppy-raising experience.  They also allow time for the raisers to see their puppy again and meet their puppy's new partner prior to the ceremony.

Seeing Cory for the first time in 10 weeks was extremely emotional for all of us, including Cory. As one of the GDB staff members led us to the room where Heidi and Cory were waiting, I looked through the glass door and locked eyes with my beautiful boy - it was such a profound moment.  He stared at us as if in shock for a moment but as we walked towards him he realized we were real and his excitement overwhelmed him - he went nuts!  He gave us an exaggerated version of his signature "butt-wiggle" and I thought he was going to start knocking over furniture with his tail - it was so hilarious!  Heidi graciously allowed us to have a moment reuniting with Cory.  Once he calmed down we introduced ourselves to Cory's future, the true reason for all of this.  And she was amazing.

Our children really benefited from spending time talking to Heidi because they were able to see firsthand how their sacrifice was directly impacting the life of another human being.  At one point, Heidi explained to us the cause of her visual impairment and how Cory had already dramatically changed her life.  Heidi was born with a condition called Usher Syndrome, a disease characterized by severe hearing loss and progressive vision loss.  She still retains some sight but has no peripheral vision and she is completely blind at night when it's dark outside. Heidi explained to us that after finding herself in the middle of the street a few times and almost being hit by a car, she became fearful of being out after dark and tried to avoid it at all costs.

One evening, while staying on the GDB campus, Heidi was walking back to her dorm room and realized it had gotten dark outside.  Her first reaction was to feel fear but then realized that she had Cory with her.  She said, "Cory, find my room"...and guess what?  Cory led her directly to her room!  For the first time since she lost her night vision, Heidi said she felt perfectly safe walking in the dark.  Wow!  It was a pretty powerful moment and on the way home in the car, Jake said, "That was so great to meet Heidi - now I GET why we are doing this!  I thought I understood before but now I REALLY get it!".  What a gift this entire process has been to all of us.  What an amazing gift!  I feel like I should be thanking them.  At that moment, I knew I was hooked on this puppy raising gig - I knew, deep within my soul, that as long as I was physically able, I would be raising puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind.

It's been a rough few years for me.  I've been tested in every sense of the word - physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.  And although I am still struggling and I still have bad days, and even very bad days, now and again, I wouldn't change a thing.  Not one single thing, not even the stuff that still keeps me up at night upon occasion.  I am so grateful for all of it - the good, the bad and especially the ugly.  I can see clearly now that from the most devastating situations is the potential for the most positive change and enlightenment, resulting in an elevated state of being and a new sense of purpose that didn't exist before.

And I realize that behind those dark clouds, the sun has always been been there, shining gloriously in all of it's splendor, encouraging me to step into it's light and bask in it's glory.  It was there the entire time, I just couldn't see it through my tears of sorrow, frustration and anger.  The dark clouds no longer elicits in me fear or dread in anticipation of unpleasant situations or circumstances...I can see clearly now that even the darkest, scariest, most ominous looking clouds are simply opportunities in disguise - opportunities for change, growth, expansion and enlightenment beyond our wildest expectations.

In my mind, the sunlight behind the clouds represents hope, without which we can't survive.  Hope is like water, food and oxygen - it's necessary for us as human beings to keep moving forward.  Hope drives us to to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles.  Hope shines a beam of light, like a flashlight during a power outage, guiding us through our darkest days and making us realize that whatever we are going through will not last forever.  Hope illuminates the potential rewards that always, without question, accompany the most challenging times in our lives.  

I can see clearly now that hope is what got me through my toughest times, when the desire to give up was the strongest.  In my case, hope came in the form of a dog...a beautiful black Labrador retriever named Cory who showed up just in time.  Cory came into my life as a result of one small, seemingly innocuous decision we made to raise a puppy for Guide Dogs for the Blind.  It was an intention to do something selfless to help another human being and it ended up being a profoundly transformative gift that continues to bless my family and I with riches that go far, far beyond our five senses.

My dad asked me the other day what I thought was the biggest reason that Cory became a successful Guide Dog, given the statistics (75% of puppies raised are career-changed for various reasons) and the fact that he was our very first attempt at raising a GDB puppy.  I thought about it for minute, because although I had considered it, I still hadn't reached a definitive conclusion.  So I said, "I don't know what it was....he was a great dog, destined to be a Guide from the start...from the moment we picked up Cory, I told him every single day that he was a Guide Dog and that I believed in him 100%.  I talked to him out loud, telling him that there was a person out there, right now, this very second, who was waiting patiently for him to change their life.  I refused to believe he had any issues that would prevent this from happening."

Later, I was thinking about that conversation, and realized something else: from the very beginning, Cory and I believed in each other.  We gave each other hope, compassion, understanding, companionship, never-ending loyalty and unconditional love.  We believed in each other and that unshakable faith gave both of us the strength and perseverance to never, ever give up.  And maybe that's why we both made it.

As Dr. Dyer says so eloquently in his book, I Can See Clearly Now:

"Everything shows up in Divine time.  We get what we need on the schedule of a force much larger than ourselves.  This invisible force moves the pieces around in its own way, in its own time, to harmonize with the perfect precision that defines every cubic inch of space and time."