"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog that comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all of the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are."
- Anonymous
As you may know, my family and I just finished raising our first puppy, Cory, for Guide Dogs for the Blind. We began our adventure with Cory on July 4, 2014 when we picked him up from the GDB San Rafael, CA campus at just 8 weeks old. Cory stole our hearts immediately with his adorable puppy face and super "chill" personality.
This past Wednesday, July 29, 2015, Cory was "recalled" by GDB, meaning he began a 10-week formal training process in preparation to become a full-fledged Guide Dog. Statistically speaking this is a pretty big accomplishment, considering the fact that 75% of Guide Dog puppies are "career-changed" for various reasons before they reach this final stage of training so we are extremely proud of our boy - but admittedly, it is bittersweet.
Cory, aka "Nub" face-planted into our lives just a couple of months before the acute phase of my disease reared its ugly head - he had very short, nubby little legs and a round, plump little body so when he tried to walk he would literally face-plant, hence the nickname "Nub". From the start, he was like a little duckling who "imprinted" onto me - he literally seemed to think I was his mommy. And that was just fine with me.
When I got sick, Cory made it his mission to make sure he was by my side every waking moment of every day. He literally did not leave my side for any reason except to eat or relieve himself. My family felt bad for him since he was just a little pup and they tried and tried to get him to come downstairs to play and go outside but Cory would just go right back up to my room - and if the door was closed he would whimper until someone let him in.
As far as I'm concerned, Cory literally saved my life. His presence was one of the few reasons I made it through those endless days, weeks and months. I would wake up after being asleep for god knows how long and there he was laying on the floor next to my bed, content to just be there with me no matter what. His devotion never wavered and I believe that the beauty and purity of his love got me through my darkest days. I have never felt such unconditional love, not wanting a single thing in return except just to be with me. Cory and I developed a bond that I can't really explain in words - it was something I had never before in my life experienced.
As Glennon Doyle Melton talks about in her book "Carry On, Warrior", hard things should not be avoided, because within hard things are the biggest blessings in life. Be brave and do hard things. Be an example to our children. Teach them to seek out challenges and in turn they will experience life's most amazing gifts.
Below is a letter I wrote to my beloved Cory on the day I said goodbye to him...
Dear Cory,
Today is a very difficult day for both of us, bittersweet in so many ways. Selfishly, I want to keep you with me forever and never give you up. But I know that the time has come for you to start to prepare for the job that you were born to do. I also know that there is a person out there right now who will soon receive the most amazing gift of YOU. You will affect this person's life dramatically, providing them with independence, companionship, protection, love and so many other profoundly life-changing things .
Cory, I am SO proud of you, my PPP ("practically perfect puppy" as you were referred to by GDB staff), my sweet, beautiful, brilliant, hilarious boy whose love lifted me up and brought me so much comfort during a very difficult time in my life.
- Anonymous
As you may know, my family and I just finished raising our first puppy, Cory, for Guide Dogs for the Blind. We began our adventure with Cory on July 4, 2014 when we picked him up from the GDB San Rafael, CA campus at just 8 weeks old. Cory stole our hearts immediately with his adorable puppy face and super "chill" personality.
This past Wednesday, July 29, 2015, Cory was "recalled" by GDB, meaning he began a 10-week formal training process in preparation to become a full-fledged Guide Dog. Statistically speaking this is a pretty big accomplishment, considering the fact that 75% of Guide Dog puppies are "career-changed" for various reasons before they reach this final stage of training so we are extremely proud of our boy - but admittedly, it is bittersweet.
Cory, aka "Nub" face-planted into our lives just a couple of months before the acute phase of my disease reared its ugly head - he had very short, nubby little legs and a round, plump little body so when he tried to walk he would literally face-plant, hence the nickname "Nub". From the start, he was like a little duckling who "imprinted" onto me - he literally seemed to think I was his mommy. And that was just fine with me.
When I got sick, Cory made it his mission to make sure he was by my side every waking moment of every day. He literally did not leave my side for any reason except to eat or relieve himself. My family felt bad for him since he was just a little pup and they tried and tried to get him to come downstairs to play and go outside but Cory would just go right back up to my room - and if the door was closed he would whimper until someone let him in.
As far as I'm concerned, Cory literally saved my life. His presence was one of the few reasons I made it through those endless days, weeks and months. I would wake up after being asleep for god knows how long and there he was laying on the floor next to my bed, content to just be there with me no matter what. His devotion never wavered and I believe that the beauty and purity of his love got me through my darkest days. I have never felt such unconditional love, not wanting a single thing in return except just to be with me. Cory and I developed a bond that I can't really explain in words - it was something I had never before in my life experienced.
For this reason I am certain he will be an amazing Guide Dog and I derive extreme pleasure in the notion that he will soon be doing the job he was born to do.
But to say that it was hard to give him up would be an extreme understatement - it was one the most difficult things I have ever done in my entire life. I felt like a piece of my heart was being ripped out of my body. I got through it with the support of my family and friends, the amazing staff at GDB and our phenomenal puppy raising group leaders.
But to say that it was hard to give him up would be an extreme understatement - it was one the most difficult things I have ever done in my entire life. I felt like a piece of my heart was being ripped out of my body. I got through it with the support of my family and friends, the amazing staff at GDB and our phenomenal puppy raising group leaders.
But most importantly, it was the knowledge that there is another person out there in the world who needs him so much more than I do. I reminded myself that one of the main reasons my husband Pedro and I decided to do this is to allow our children the opportunity to experience what it is like to give selflessly to another human being. To experience that feeling of giving is to know joy in its purest form. There is nothing quite like it...to know in your heart and soul that because of your sacrifice, another person's life will be positively affected in a profound way. It's priceless and will hopefully stay with our children for the rest of their lives.
When we are out and about with Cory, the inevitable question we get asked over and over again is, "How can you give him up? I could never do it." I often struggled with finding the perfect response until one day my daughter Sofia, who was 9 at the time, replied, "Why NOT us? If not us, then WHO?" In that moment I actually felt victorious, a very rare emotion in the world of child rearing which is usually fraught with feelings of doubt and failure as opposed to success. Yes, Sofia, you get it!!
We are definitely hooked. Pedro and I and all three of our children recognize that the gifts we receive as a result of being allowed to raise these amazing creatures far outweigh the heartache. As difficult as it was to give up Cory, we will keep raising puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind. We will welcome our next bundle of furry joy on September 5th - in the meantime we are puppy sitting for other GDB pups who will fill our hearts until then.
When we are out and about with Cory, the inevitable question we get asked over and over again is, "How can you give him up? I could never do it." I often struggled with finding the perfect response until one day my daughter Sofia, who was 9 at the time, replied, "Why NOT us? If not us, then WHO?" In that moment I actually felt victorious, a very rare emotion in the world of child rearing which is usually fraught with feelings of doubt and failure as opposed to success. Yes, Sofia, you get it!!
We are definitely hooked. Pedro and I and all three of our children recognize that the gifts we receive as a result of being allowed to raise these amazing creatures far outweigh the heartache. As difficult as it was to give up Cory, we will keep raising puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind. We will welcome our next bundle of furry joy on September 5th - in the meantime we are puppy sitting for other GDB pups who will fill our hearts until then.
As Glennon Doyle Melton talks about in her book "Carry On, Warrior", hard things should not be avoided, because within hard things are the biggest blessings in life. Be brave and do hard things. Be an example to our children. Teach them to seek out challenges and in turn they will experience life's most amazing gifts.
Below is a letter I wrote to my beloved Cory on the day I said goodbye to him...
Dear Cory,
Today is a very difficult day for both of us, bittersweet in so many ways. Selfishly, I want to keep you with me forever and never give you up. But I know that the time has come for you to start to prepare for the job that you were born to do. I also know that there is a person out there right now who will soon receive the most amazing gift of YOU. You will affect this person's life dramatically, providing them with independence, companionship, protection, love and so many other profoundly life-changing things .
Cory, I am SO proud of you, my PPP ("practically perfect puppy" as you were referred to by GDB staff), my sweet, beautiful, brilliant, hilarious boy whose love lifted me up and brought me so much comfort during a very difficult time in my life.
Cory, I feel so honored to have had the privilege of raising you. And as it turned out, I ended up needing you more than you needed me.
You provided joy and laughter in our house on a regular basis. We cracked up at the way you sat frog-like with your back legs splayed out like you were in yoga class, the way all of your skin, ears, lips and feet all seemed much too big for the rest of your body, the endearing way you would wait at the front door for me to trip over whenever I had the audacity to leave you behind, how excited you got to se e your best puppy friends, Gus and Augie, your "butt-wiggle" happy dance which you exhibited joyfully Christmas morning upon receiving your beautiful new bed - which you opened yourself by the way. You provided belly laughs every single day, Cory - you are one hilarious pup!
Cory, thank you for coming into my life when I needed you most. You left a permanent imprint on my soul in the shape of a heart which I will carry with me for the rest of my days.
You provided joy and laughter in our house on a regular basis. We cracked up at the way you sat frog-like with your back legs splayed out like you were in yoga class, the way all of your skin, ears, lips and feet all seemed much too big for the rest of your body, the endearing way you would wait at the front door for me to trip over whenever I had the audacity to leave you behind, how excited you got to se e your best puppy friends, Gus and Augie, your "butt-wiggle" happy dance which you exhibited joyfully Christmas morning upon receiving your beautiful new bed - which you opened yourself by the way. You provided belly laughs every single day, Cory - you are one hilarious pup!
Cory, thank you for coming into my life when I needed you most. You left a permanent imprint on my soul in the shape of a heart which I will carry with me for the rest of my days.
I look forward to hearing about your adventures doing the job you were always meant to do. You are ready for your next chapter to begin and this raiser could not be more proud! I love you, sweet boy, and I will never, ever forget you.
And if you ever want to come home, our doors are wide open!
xxxxx
mommy
And if you ever want to come home, our doors are wide open!
xxxxx
mommy
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