Friday, January 1, 2016

Connection vs. Distraction




"If you want to feel connected to your own purpose, know this for certain:
Your purpose will only be found in service to others, and in being 
connected to the something far greater than your mind/body/ego."

                                                  - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

The process of trying to heal my body has been a journey, one that I am still on, but I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to the ultimate goal of restoring not only my physical health, but my psychological, emotional and spiritual health as well.  I truly believe that they are all connected and that we must address all areas in order achieve this goal, and in doing so, the result will far exceed any expectation of what that might look and feel like.  It's a wellness beyond what we could have comprehended or imagined before the health crisis, or any other crisis in one's life for that matter, began.

Recently, I have received some clarity in one concept in particular, one that was especially difficult for me to wrap my brain around when this journey began...it's the concept of self-love.  I thought that in sharing what I have learned over the past several months it might help other people understand it a little better because in my experience it can be a bit confusing and misleading.

You hear people talk about how all of your problems will be solved if you just learn to love yourself.  You read books about it, see lectures on it, listen to podcasts and say affirmations in the mirror (which at first feel very, very silly) but still it seems like such an elusive idea, one that sounds so simple but nobody really tells you HOW to go about achieving this incredible feat.  

You are told that it has nothing to do with your physical self - it's this inner spiritual self that you need to embrace to experience true self-love and acceptance. For me, I didn't know how to even find my essence, much less love it. I was looking for a step by step instruction booklet and I couldn't seem to find one!  I read lots of books on it, like Louise Hay's "Heal Your Life" which helped a lot.  Louise recommend doing daily affirmations, like I mentioned above, and to just keep saying it until you feel it.  I struggled with this - I could say the words but I didn't really believe the words I was saying.  

Here's what I finally figured out: Yes, it's all about self-love....but in order to love yourself you must first know yourself.  And in order to know yourself, you must find your purpose in this life, the reason you were put on this planet - and I believe that everyone has one.  Once this is achieved, and you finally see your true self for the first time, self-love is inevitable.  Your essence is so pure and beautiful, even to you, that it's impossible not to love.

So now you are probably asking, "Okay, that's all fine and good, but how do I do that?  How do I figure out who I am and what my purpose is on this earth?".  I think the answer is in connection - to everyone and everything - and that our biggest roadblock to connection is distraction.  Distraction is the enemy, in my opinion.  I define distraction as anything external or internal that prevents us from listing to our inner voice, that feeling of knowing that can only be heard if you turn off the voices in your head, block out the outside world and turn inward.  

Now I guess some would call this meditating - but the word 'meditation' was always very intimidating to me and maybe it is to you, too.  Meditating does not just have to be sitting on the floor with legs crossed, arms outstretched and candles burning,   To me, mediating is just connecting with other people in a genuine way, being in nature and noticing with wonderment all of the miracles taking place, being truly mindful and in the moment.  I know this sounds like something you've heard a million times before - but I'm telling you, it works.

Connection is also achieved when we are of service to others, and this can vary from offering a stranger a kind word to volunteering in a homeless shelter and everything in between.  It can even be in the form of simply smiling at someone as they walk by.  It's doesn't have to be major and it doesn't have to be complicated.  The more we complicate things, the more difficult things seem and the less likely we are to do them.  

Once I started to block out other people's thoughts and opinions, free myself of guilt, resentment, anger, judgement and all of the 'should's' and 'have to's' that society tells us we must adhere to and focus on kindness and compassion to others, connection just happened naturally.  And once connection starting happening on a regular basis, the answers just started flowing.  I know it sounds way too simplistic but I'm here to tell you that it's that simple!

I think that we, as human beings, make life way too complicated and difficult.  Imagine that life is a river, with currents and roaring rapids.  If a strong current comes along and you fight against it, you will eventually drown.  But if you don't panic and just relax into the rapid and the flow of the water, all will be well...all of the sudden things will start falling into place and and your life will start to work.  The irony is that it's so much harder to fight it - and yet we keep fighting the current, the life force, and making it so much harder on ourselves.  Lean into the life force and it will gently guide you in the direction of your purpose...and you will see yourself for the glorious, spiritual being you really are.  Because after all, as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin so wisely put it: "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."  I love that quote - it makes so much sense to me!

So that's my advice - maybe I'm just regurgitating what countless others have said before me but sometimes hearing something again in a slightly different way can make the light bulb go on.  And maybe not.  

Either way, Happy New Year to all!  I have a feeling good things are to come all around in 2016...it's gonna be a great year.

xxxxx
liz  











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