Today I had an appointment with my OB/GYN - an appointment I had been putting off for months. I had a full hysterectomy a few years ago so I didn't really understand why it was necessary...but my doctor insisted and sent me a message that she would not refill my prescription for my estrogen patch until I saw her. Ugh. So I went. I was dreading it for some reason and wasn't sure exactly why I was dreading it.
As I walked into the building, I could feel my heart beat a little faster and I felt a slight pit in my stomach. By the time I was checked in and brought back to the exam room, I was having major anxiety. The nurse took my blood pressure and it was high so she did it again - even higher. Ugh. The nurse told me to change and said she would need to make a note in my chart and refer me to a specialist for the blood pressure issue. Double ugh.
The doctor came in. I had to change insurance companies a few months ago so this doctor was new to me - I had never seen her before. She asked question after question and as I answered each one, the panic I was feeling began to grow. I still didn't really know why I was in such a state but later, as I walked to my car, and the feeling began to wane, I realized what must be going on. Going to the doctor has turned into a traumatizing experience for me.
As I mentioned in my first post, I have been to see many, many doctors over the course of the past year. With the exception of the psychiatrist who first diagnosed me with Lyme and the Lyme-Literate Doc, every single appointment was disturbing, ranging in severity from mildly upsetting to downright traumatic. Often I would leave in tears, sometimes sobbing tears.
As a result of my first FB post, I have talked to several people with Chronic Lyme who have all experienced the same thing and it makes me really sad. Doctors are good people, great people even. They spend years and years in school and residency, they sacrifice time with their families, holidays, sleep and much, much more. I have always held doctors in extremely high regard and have felt nothing but gratitude and respect toward them.
But as a result of my experiences this past year, my feelings toward doctors has changed into something resembling distrust and even fear. I hate that this has happened because doctors don't deserve that - I have several family members and friends who are in the medical profession and if they are reading this right now, I truly hope they do not take offense. The only reason I am calling attention to this is because I recognize that something is profoundly wrong with our medical system and it needs to be fixed - and FAST. If we brush it under the rug and pretend like it's all fine because we are concerned about ruffling feathers, then nothing ever will change. We can't allow that to happen.
I know there all a LOT of amazing physicians out there - and truly, from the bottom of my heart, I mean no disrespect. But this is not okay! Treating sick people so poorly is not okay - it's disgraceful! Lyme Disease is a DISEASE. Just like cancer, diabetes, and Alzheimer's. People are suffering. Really, really suffering. Imagine telling a cancer patient that their symptoms were due to mental illness or drug abuse? People would be horrified. Why don't Lyme patients deserve the same level of compassion and respect? I just don't get it. I just can't wrap my brain around it.
This needs to change - and FAST because the statistics are not good - over 300,000 people will be diagnosed with Lyme Disease this year. Thousands and thousands more around the world are currently suffering systemic, debilitating, life-altering symptoms. Lives are being decimated. Families are being destroyed. Somebody needs to listen! Somebody needs to take action!
I've said this before - I am well aware that this is an extremely polarizing and controversial subject. By putting myself out there and speaking my mind, I will in all likelihood lose a few friends. Family members may choose to keep their distance from me. But it's a chance I am willing to take. Why me, you may ask? Why NOT me?
So I will keep screaming until someone LISTENS, until ACTION is taken and significant changes are made. I won't stop screaming. I can't.
As Glennon Doyle Melton says, author of "Carry On, Warrior" one of my favorite books of all time, my mission is to be a "Truth
Teller and Hope Spreader."
As I walked into the building, I could feel my heart beat a little faster and I felt a slight pit in my stomach. By the time I was checked in and brought back to the exam room, I was having major anxiety. The nurse took my blood pressure and it was high so she did it again - even higher. Ugh. The nurse told me to change and said she would need to make a note in my chart and refer me to a specialist for the blood pressure issue. Double ugh.
The doctor came in. I had to change insurance companies a few months ago so this doctor was new to me - I had never seen her before. She asked question after question and as I answered each one, the panic I was feeling began to grow. I still didn't really know why I was in such a state but later, as I walked to my car, and the feeling began to wane, I realized what must be going on. Going to the doctor has turned into a traumatizing experience for me.
As I mentioned in my first post, I have been to see many, many doctors over the course of the past year. With the exception of the psychiatrist who first diagnosed me with Lyme and the Lyme-Literate Doc, every single appointment was disturbing, ranging in severity from mildly upsetting to downright traumatic. Often I would leave in tears, sometimes sobbing tears.
As a result of my first FB post, I have talked to several people with Chronic Lyme who have all experienced the same thing and it makes me really sad. Doctors are good people, great people even. They spend years and years in school and residency, they sacrifice time with their families, holidays, sleep and much, much more. I have always held doctors in extremely high regard and have felt nothing but gratitude and respect toward them.
But as a result of my experiences this past year, my feelings toward doctors has changed into something resembling distrust and even fear. I hate that this has happened because doctors don't deserve that - I have several family members and friends who are in the medical profession and if they are reading this right now, I truly hope they do not take offense. The only reason I am calling attention to this is because I recognize that something is profoundly wrong with our medical system and it needs to be fixed - and FAST. If we brush it under the rug and pretend like it's all fine because we are concerned about ruffling feathers, then nothing ever will change. We can't allow that to happen.
I know there all a LOT of amazing physicians out there - and truly, from the bottom of my heart, I mean no disrespect. But this is not okay! Treating sick people so poorly is not okay - it's disgraceful! Lyme Disease is a DISEASE. Just like cancer, diabetes, and Alzheimer's. People are suffering. Really, really suffering. Imagine telling a cancer patient that their symptoms were due to mental illness or drug abuse? People would be horrified. Why don't Lyme patients deserve the same level of compassion and respect? I just don't get it. I just can't wrap my brain around it.
This needs to change - and FAST because the statistics are not good - over 300,000 people will be diagnosed with Lyme Disease this year. Thousands and thousands more around the world are currently suffering systemic, debilitating, life-altering symptoms. Lives are being decimated. Families are being destroyed. Somebody needs to listen! Somebody needs to take action!
I've said this before - I am well aware that this is an extremely polarizing and controversial subject. By putting myself out there and speaking my mind, I will in all likelihood lose a few friends. Family members may choose to keep their distance from me. But it's a chance I am willing to take. Why me, you may ask? Why NOT me?
So I will keep screaming until someone LISTENS, until ACTION is taken and significant changes are made. I won't stop screaming. I can't.
As Glennon Doyle Melton says, author of "Carry On, Warrior" one of my favorite books of all time, my mission is to be a "Truth
Teller and Hope Spreader."
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